by Jill | Jul 20, 2020 | Child Counseling, Child Therapy, children, children self help, continuing education, counseling, divorce, family therapy, parenting, parents, Play Therapy, play therpay
What to Expect From Your Play Therapist if You’re Getting a Divorce
One of the most challenging issues a family can face is divorce. It affects everyone involved in some way. Children, parents, extended family, and others close to the situation. It can also be one of the most challenging and complex cases I can treat in play therapy. Emotions are high, changes are happening, and there are a lot of unknown factors. On a practical level, counseling for everyone involved is recommended.
So, if you, as a parent are going through a divorce, have been through a divorce, or planning on getting one, here are some ways to make your child gets the most benefit from play therapy and to assist your child in coping with the changes that are happening in your family and also what roles I can and cannot play as a child therapist.
Remember I’m there to treat your child, and am neutral when it comes to parental conflicts.
Understand that I will not be able to fix your marriage.
I cannot determine custody of your children.
Custody evaluation is a separate role from therapy, and there are mental health professionals, primarily psychologists, that specialize in this area.
Don’t involve me in your court issues.
It is paramount that I be able to maintain your child’s confidentiality and a neutral safe space for them to process their emotions. This is a traumatic time for them, and involving me in court will often require that I break that confidentiality and it always affect my therapeutic relationship with your child.
Give your child space for their own processing.
Your child will love both of you.
Both parents should participate in the therapy process in some way, taking turns to bring your child to therapy or coming together with them shows that you are supporting their journey through this process.
Participate in your own therapy.
This is a stressful and highly emotional time for everyone and I want you to take care of yourself as much as I want your child to get through this change as healthy as possible.
Keep children out of adult conflicts.
This includes parenting disagreements, knowledge about court proceedings over their developmental level, questioning your child about the other parent, or other situations where it puts your child in a no-win situation.
If your child is upset or emotional, listen, empathize and allow for open expression of feelings even if it is difficult for you.
Don’t blame, complain, or vent about your ex- or soon to be ex-spouse in front of your child.
Be honest with your child: tell them what they need to know, when a change is occurring
It is ok to say “I don’t know,” or “let me think about my answer” to questions children may have for which you yourself are uncertain.
Be prepared for children to have various emotions.
Maintain a predictable routine as much as possible
Maintain your parenting limits and boundaries.
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by Jill | Aug 12, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, Child Counseling, Child Therapy, continuing education, Coping with Burnout, counseling, Finding Peace, mental health business, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy
“Accepting the presence of compassion fatigue in your life only serves to validate the fact that you are a deeply caring individual. Somewhere along your healing path, the truth will present itself: You don’t have to make a choice. It is possible to practice healthy, ongoing self-care while successfully continuing to care for others.”
Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project ©(2017)
Man, I had a tough week last week. Do you ever have one of those? Most of us do. Counseling can be a rewarding job, you have the privilege to see people through some of their most difficult points in life and the come out the other side better than they were before. But, sometimes you have just one of those weeks, or days or cases that gets to you for one reason or another.
Child therapy especially, in my opinion bring another level of emotional challenge. You see children through abuse, neglect, and often changes in their lives that they have no control over. They are dependant on the adults in their lives to be safe, and there are some fantastic parents out there, but home is not always a safe or stable place for children. Witnessing that day in day out can lead to disillusionment and frustration with environmental factors. It can be easy to lose home for a moment, and forget that there is hope out there, there are safe places, there are puppies and rainbows, there are caring people out there.
It’s natural and human for us as counselors to have emotions about our cases and to sometimes see others’ pain as our own. (See Dr. Sood’s Video on emotions and the brain here). We have the unique position of holding others’ pain while at the same time being responsible for managing the challenges, hurts and trials of our own lives. Sometimes we can experience compassion fatigue. When we do, we should be accepting of where we are. Is it worth the challenge? You tell me in the comments below.
For Mental Health Professionals Working Towards Becoming a Registered Play Therapist or a Licensed Professional Counselor
For Mental Health Professionals Looking for Continuing Eduaction Training
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by Jill | Jan 1, 2013 | changes, counseling, Faith, family therapy, google, grief, mental health, relaxation, self esteem, self help, stress management, thinking, Uncategorized, writing
I don’t know about you, but for me the end of a year and the beginning of a new one always has a feeling of relief for me. I love the idea of a new, fresh start and starting over. The past year for me has been full of ups and downs, and a lot of personal stress. But at the same time, there are many blessings in my life. If I look back this year, I can see where God has really come through for me and my family. I love the hope that a new year brings. I believe that this year will be better than last year, and that God will continue to teach me how to trust Him in my life.
Here are 10 things that I am going to do this year to make life more stress free take these ideas and also add your own in the comments:
1. Say no to at least one project a week.
2. Reduce the amount of caffeine and sugar I consume.
3. Plan at least one date night a month with my husband.
4. Plan more time with my girlfriends.
5. Schedule in at least one morning a week for writing and business planning.
6. Pay down debt.
7. Say what I am thankful for everyday because God supplies all me needs and provides for me every day.
8. Read more for pleasure.
9. Read a good Bible study or join a Bible study group.
10. Give up trying to plan every little detail of my life and allow God to work things out.
Verses that Spoke to Me this Week:
This is what God says,
the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
who carves a path through pounding waves,
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
they lie down and then can’t get up;
they’re snuffed out like so many candles:
“Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
rivers in the badlands.
Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’
—the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
the people I made especially for myself,
a people custom-made to praise me.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
The Message (MSG)
5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
a father’s delight is behind all this.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
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by Jill | Dec 20, 2012 | Association for Play Therapy, Child Therapy, children, counseling, Jill Osborne, play, play room
As a play therapist people are always asking me what I need to complete my play therapy room, which of course I answer a play room is never really done. Here is a list of 10 items to give your play therapist this Christmas. Play therapists, feel free to add your top favorite gifts for your playroom in the comments!
1. Sandtray miniatures
2. Art supplies
3. Gift cards to craft stores or toy stores
4. Dollhouse furniture
5. Children’s books or activity books
6. People (can be family figures or people in the neighborhood)
7. Puppets
9. Board games
10. Sand!
You can find these items many places online, and of course at your regular retailers, like Target and Walmart.
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by Jill | Nov 3, 2012 | Blog, changes, counseling, Faith, fears, google, Jill Osborne, loss, mental health business, private practice, relaxation, scared, small business, stress management, thinking, trauma, Uncategorized
What’s chronic, repetitive, or inflamed in your inner or outer life?
This burning question is personal. There are many things I could say about it. The past year or so of my life have brought out a lot of hurt, joy, tears, laughter, many mixed emotions. Most recently I took on some opportunities in my life that reminded my of the things that I left, and inflamed a lot of mixed emotions, distrust and confusion. Confusion about what God’s will is for my life right now, how to decide if an opporunity is one that Is from God, or just a distraction from what His will actually is in my life. And me,being stubborn would rather take an opportunity and then stress about how to get out of it rather than saving myself the heartache and stress and trusting the path that I believe God has put me on. The repetitive is the constant battle to trust the process, and my practical mind, the need for certainty and to provide for my family financially vs. patience, trust and hearing the whispers of the Holy Spirit in my heart leading me, allowing God to unfold his will for my life openly without reservations. The balance between the “busy syndrome” that often accompanies the profession of counseling, the need to pour out compassion everywhere, and the need for self care and rejuvenation. It is a constant battle and conflict for me, and left unchecked can lead me to stubborn slips of faith. It reminds me of Peter, when he sees Jesus walking on the water towards the boat, he takes one step out, and begins walking towards His Savior, and then loses his focus off Jesus and focuses on the storm, then fear sets in and he falls into the stormy waters. There are several things that I love about this picture. One: Peter has the faith to get out of the boat, and two, Jesus is right there pulling Peter out of the water to bring him back to safety and into the boat. It reminds me that I don’t have to fear, that I can take the steps of faith that are presented to me, and that when I fail Jesus is there to rescue me and bring me back to safety, and showing me that I can Trust Him and His will and place in my life.
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