I’ve been studying a lot lately about how self-care with counselors relates to ethics and what happens to therapists during the course of their careers. This is a personal topic for me, first, because I am a therapist, and second because I’ve both dealt with my own and witnessed others’ in the field deal with being overstressed, overworked and pushing the burnout phase.
After hearing about multiple therapist suicides in the Atlanta area over the last few years, it really got me wondering how we, as a profession are supporting each other’s journey in this career. What changes can we, together, make to better address our colleagues’ if/when we see them struggle? What did we miss with these folks who were silently struggling?
We, as therapists are constantly trying to balance the needs of our clients, supervisees, students, demands of our work setting, ethics codes, laws, and potential liabilities all while dealing with the demands of our own personal life, financial strains, and our own losses, crises and life challenges.
I’ve noticed by my own observation over the last few years or so that the terms, “self-care” “vicarious trauma,” and “burnout” or “compassion fatigue” appears to have be more common themes of discussion both in trainings, blogs, conversations and other areas of our profession. I think the fact that we, as a profession are talking about and it is fantastic and opens up well-needed conversations about our own mental health as caregivers.
In fact, looking back, I can only think of maybe one or two professors in my graduate studies even approaching the issue. And I definitely don’t remember anyone in my state job as an undergraduate talking about it or paying attention to it’s effect on us. It was one of my early on supervisors that noticed it. She probably did me one of the biggest favors of my life at the time by pointing out some blind spots that I wasn’t noticing about myself, like how much I was stressing or overworking myself at the time and that I needed to take some steps to take care of my own mental health while I pursue caring for others.
According on the APA report on stress from 2015 (there is a more recent report from 2017 that focuses more on our political climate and healthcare) most of us when we’re stressed out or overstressed know it, or know we need to make a change, but feel too stressed to do anything about it or make the changes necessary to address it. It makes me wonder how many of the therapists I’ve been reading about in some of my ethics research, or cases I’ve read about counselors who made poor ethical choices and had poor boundaries with clients were experiencing the deep hole of stress or burnout that mental health professionals sometimes find themselves in. It makes me wonder, what, if any could have been done to support them before they reached that slippery slope of boundary violations and crossings.
It’s and ethical mandate for counselors to be aware of our own impairment, according to multiple ethical codes, but if, when we’re overstressed how aware are we really? Are we setting ourselves up for a catch 22? Are we shooting our wounded so to speak by sending our newbie therapists into high stress, high caseloads and high expectations? Are we setting each other up to sink or swim in the sea of conflicting demands and ethical grey areas, or sometimes outright ethical breaches?
What happens between the time we leave graduate school where ethics are preached and studied and taught and our lives in the field? How do some of us end up in organizations (not all, there are many wonderful organizations!) that contribute to toxic work environments, expectations and overworking?
I know, I know, I’m venting.
Maybe these questions are just mine.
But I believe they are important to ponder and discuss so that we can find a way to support each other in this career. Stop the fighting over political decisions between professions, find a way to pay our new therapists fairly and support each other rather than tear each other down. Pay attention to each other and build each other up. There are many, many wonderful supportive folks out there, but I think creating a culture of support and healthy self-care becomes more difficult when there are so many systemic challenges that come into play.
I know I know, it’s a blog, I’m supposed to give you tips, but all I have right now are questions. What do we do? How best can we support the mental health needs of other counselors, our colleagues, both new and experienced? Leave your ideas in the comments below, and lets work together on this.
A few weeks ago I found out a colleague who used to work on the other side of town now worked close by, so I asked her if she wanted to go to lunch or something. I had a lot on my to do list and I have been pounding the pavement so they say for a while, and so lunches in the middle of the day on the work week outside of the office have been few and far between. I was almost afraid to go because I didn’t want to set back my never-ending to-do list and miss those ever so important to me (that I set for my overachieving self) deadlines.
But I went.
And MAN am I so glad.
Sometimes, even in a setting where I work around other people I start to feel like I live on an island. I was so self-focused and focused on the day to day that I didn’t even realize how much I needed that break in my week. We talked, we relived past work experiences that had been toxic or that we had seen as off the chain, and even laughed about the craziness of a profession we call counseling.
It really hit home for me the importance of reaching out and asking for help, and asking for social interaction with others in the profession. It helps me feel like I’m not so crazy, and we’re not alone.
We can get so focused on our to-do’s, our busy schedules, and the heavy material that we carry from our clients that we can forget that there are others out there, experiencing similar things.
We are not alone.
Say it with me: WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS PROFESSION.
We are not on an island; we are not machines.
The more and more I study counselor self care and how stress effects us, the less I believe I can separate self care and seeking support from others from how well we can do our jobs. I found myself on more than one occasion lately needing to reach out to others for support, to reboot, revitalize, and refocus so that I can be there for my clients, supervisees, and family.
It is our responsibility as mental health professionals to look out for each other in the field and support each other. Together. Put aside our differences whatever they are and be there for our brothers and sisters in the profession. We were made for this connection. This is part of what helps us live and breath what we do.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw play therapy. When my late supervisor allowed me to observe my first play therapy session I fell in love at first sight. It felt right. It felt natural to me and I loved how it worked with where the child was in their development.
That session was a pivotal moment for me. It started a passion that motivated me to pursue my career and specialty as a play therapist and play therapist supervisor. I had so much to learn, but it didn’t stop me from moving towards my goals.
I had no idea what kind of challenges lay ahead, including difficult work environments, heavy caseloads, and the level of trauma and complex issues that my young clients face with courage.
I have non-therapist friends ask me “how do you work with …(place favorite issues here). What I tell people (and myself when I’m faced with challenges of my job) is that yes, but I get to see a child heal from a trauma, connect with their parent, make new friends, learn how to stop being afraid and live a full life. I get to watch people heal and increase their faith in their God and themselves. I get to spend my day alongside young ones who deal with so much they should be too young for.
At the end of the day it’s encouraging work. It’s worth it. Some cases are sad. True. I have to constantly balance my work life, and personal life, true. I have to keep my emotions in check sometimes and my support systems close. But at the end of the day, it’s worth it.
What’s your passion? What fuels you? Leave a Comment Below about how you found your passion.
Starting out as a new counselor I worried about filling out the application, meeting the requirements, would it get approved, etc… One thing that helped me relax and stop over analyzing things was when a seasoned counselor simplified it for me. I hope you find this tip helpful in today’s video blog.
What Questions Do You Have on Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor?
Do You Have Tips on What Helped You Become a Counselor? Please Share Below in The Comments!
It’s been a year since my clinical supervisor and mentor, Judy Todd, died. I’ll never forget going to visit her in the hospital after her cancer diagnosis. I think I knew in my heart she was going to die. I felt sad, worried, scared. Since then I think of her frequently, mostly I miss her when I don’t know what direction to take with a client. I miss my group with her. I’ve looked for another group and nothing is the same. We went through a lot together, both clinically and professionally. I could always count on her to be stable, calming, and to know what to do. I’m still friends with the members of that group and other colleagues that knew Judy. In honor of her memory, I wanted to share some things she taught me.
Things I learned from Judy
1. Trust the relationship
2. Whatever happens, stick to your ethics
3. Breath and remain calm
4. Trust your instincts.
5. Focus on the child
6. Respect the child
7. Keep working through it
8. Have support
9. Play therapy works
10. Have confidence in yourself as a therapist
Supervisors and mentors are so important in the field of counseling, and I think her death re-enforced my belief in having someone more experienced than you in your life that you can consult with and learn from, and how long you can build a relationship with a supervisor. My relationship with her was a career making decision. From the first time I sat in on a play therapy session with her, and fell in love with it, to times in my career where other people around me were making poor ethical decisions supervision with her kept me grounded, focused, and confident in my work as a therapist. I hope that if you are under supervision, just starting out as a counselor or even someone who has been in a field a while that you have a mentor like I did.
Do you have a positive experience with a supervisor too? Share in the comments below and lets encourage each other!
I’ll never forget the first time I saw play therapy. When my late supervisor allowed me to observe my first play therapy session I fell in love at first sight. It felt right. It felt natural to me and I loved how it worked with where the child was in their development.