Compassion for Yourself

Compassion for Yourself

by | Aug 28, 2020 | Anxiety, Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, Coping with Burnout, Counseling Ethics, Counseling Supervision, crisis intervention, Faith, fears, Finding Peace, mental health, mental health business, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Ethics, Play Therapy Supervision, private practice, relaxation, self care, self esteem, self help, stress management, Therapist Self Care

Wow, What a year 2020 is turning out to be. So many ups and downs in the world, our country, our families and our emotions.

Between juggling the changes I’ve made due to COVID19 both in business, with clients and my own family it certainly is an emotional roller coaster. I feels like finding sanity and peace are so far away some days. I could make a list of “how to’s” to self care, or “how to parent during a pandemic” or “how to keep from going insane with all the cancellations and changes.” But it just doesn’t seem to say enough to me. I have found myself making changes I’ve never thought I’d face. From cleaning, to masking, from the telehealth maze there are so many shifts.

If you’re like me you started off hopeful that we could get through this, and there are many days I feel that way. It’s like I am choosing between being grateful and finding purpose in the problem and feeling anger, sadness and fear over seeing my clients, supervises and loved ones try to shift their own priorities and face layoffs, office closures and health issues.

What really has helped me to move through this without completely losing my mind (most days) are my faith, my friends, my family and taking each day and each issue one at the time, and yes seeking out my own therapy.

Most people know me know that I’m pretty open about the fact that as a therapist I find it crucial to go through my own therapy from time to time. It helps relieve burnout, compassion fatigue and also manage the difficult emotions that sometimes occur when faced with the reality of the trauma my clients face. And at the end of the day I feel like I’m asking others to engage in therapy so why not myself?

I will never forget when I was a newer therapist being encouraged to start attending myself. I am thankful for that nudge. There is no shame, no guilt and no it does not mean you are weak if you ask for help.

If you are struggling right now I encourage you to find support for yourself. Here are some signs that you may need to seek your own therapeutic support:

Common signs of chronic stress:

  • irritable/angry, nervous/anxious, lack of interest/motivation, fatigue, overwhelmed, depressed/sad
  • Feeling lack of control, guilt,
  • Constant thoughts of a situation that won’t go away
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Tearfulness
  • Not participating in enjoyable activities
  • Finding it difficult to relax

 

by | Jul 20, 2020 | Child Counseling, Child Therapy, children, children self help, continuing education, counseling, divorce, family therapy, parenting, parents, Play Therapy, play therpay

What to Expect From Your Play Therapist if You’re Getting a Divorce

One of the most challenging issues a family can face is divorce. It affects everyone involved in some way. Children, parents, extended family, and others close to the situation. It can also be one of the most challenging and complex cases I can treat in play therapy. Emotions are high, changes are happening, and there are a lot of unknown factors. On a practical level, counseling for everyone involved is recommended.

 

So, if you, as a parent are going through a divorce, have been through a divorce, or planning on getting one, here are some ways to make your child gets the most benefit from play therapy and to assist your child in coping with the changes that are happening in your family and also what roles I can and cannot play as a child therapist.

 

Remember I’m there to treat your child, and am neutral when it comes to parental conflicts.
Understand that I will not be able to fix your marriage.
I cannot determine custody of your children.
Custody evaluation is a separate role from therapy, and there are mental health professionals, primarily psychologists, that specialize in this area.
Don’t involve me in your court issues.
It is paramount that I be able to maintain your child’s confidentiality and a neutral safe space for them to process their emotions. This is a traumatic time for them, and involving me in court will often require that I break that confidentiality and it always affect my therapeutic relationship with your child.
Give your child space for their own processing.
Your child will love both of you.
Both parents should participate in the therapy process in some way, taking turns to bring your child to therapy or coming together with them shows that you are supporting their journey through this process.
Participate in your own therapy.
This is a stressful and highly emotional time for everyone and I want you to take care of yourself as much as I want your child to get through this change as healthy as possible.
Keep children out of adult conflicts.
This includes parenting disagreements, knowledge about court proceedings over their developmental level, questioning your child about the other parent, or other situations where it puts your child in a no-win situation.
If your child is upset or emotional, listen, empathize and allow for open expression of feelings even if it is difficult for you.
Don’t blame, complain, or vent about your ex- or soon to be ex-spouse in front of your child.
Be honest with your child: tell them what they need to know, when a change is occurring
It is ok to say “I don’t know,”  or “let me think about my answer” to questions children may have for which you yourself are uncertain.
Be prepared for children to have various emotions.
Maintain a predictable routine as much as possible
Maintain your parenting limits and boundaries.

 

 

What do you do to support your child during this challenging time with your family?

Leave Your Comments Below

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Is It Worth It?

Is It Worth It?

by | Aug 12, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, Child Counseling, Child Therapy, continuing education, Coping with Burnout, counseling, Finding Peace, mental health business, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy

Accept the Presence of Compassion Fatique

“Accepting the presence of compassion fatigue in your life only serves to validate the fact that you are a deeply caring individual. Somewhere along your healing path, the truth will present itself: You don’t have to make a choice. It is possible to practice healthy, ongoing self-care while successfully continuing to care for others.”
Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project ©(2017)

Man, I had a tough week last week. Do you ever have one of those? Most of us do. Counseling can be a rewarding job, you have the privilege to see people through some of their most difficult points in life and the come out the other side better than they were before. But, sometimes you have just one of those weeks, or days or cases that gets to you for one reason or another. 

Child therapy especially, in my opinion bring another level of emotional challenge. You see children through abuse, neglect, and often changes in their lives that they have no control over. They are dependant on the adults in their lives to be safe, and there are some fantastic parents out there, but home is not always a safe or stable place for children. Witnessing that day in day out can lead to disillusionment and frustration with environmental factors. It can be easy to lose home for a moment, and forget that there is hope out there, there are safe places, there are puppies and rainbows, there are caring people out there.

It’s natural and human for us as counselors to have emotions about our cases and to sometimes see others’ pain as our own. (See Dr. Sood’s Video on emotions and the brain here).  We have the unique position of holding others’ pain while at the same time being responsible for managing the challenges, hurts and trials of our own lives. Sometimes we can experience compassion fatigue. When we do, we should be accepting of where we are. Is it worth the challenge? You tell me in the comments below.

 

 

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by | May 25, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, Counseling Supervision, mental health business, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Supervision, private practice, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care

Grateful

March of this year I finally took the plunge into independent private practice. Plunge may be the wrong word, because while it may have felt like that when I made the difficult decision to leave my job of 7 years to pursue the next phase of my career it really didn’t happen all at once. It happened over time, with small decisions and guideposts along the journey.

I have had many supporters, including colleagues, friends, family, mentors and coaches. I wasn’t alone, and I’m thankful. Thankful for those that helped me along the way, Thankful for the flood of new opportunities God has opened up for me since I let go of the past and began looking forward. Thankful for the past experiences that have shaped me, both exciting and sometimes challenging.

It all comes together in the end and prepares me for the new phase. There were many things I wasn’t sure of, will it work, will I fail? what if I leave and I don’t get enough work? What if I make mistakes? How will it look? But now, I’m grateful. Now I’m free to focus more on the things I love, more supervision, more opportunities to see other therapists pursue their goals of being play therapists and counselors. More opportunities to see families heal from challenging situations.

If you are in the middle of a shift in your career, either pursuing licensure, private practice, certification, or other goals you may be wondering some of the same things, have some of the same fears. You are not alone. You will figure it out, and it will be worth it. Grateful.

Are you looking to pursue licensure as a professional counselor in Georgia? or to become a Registered Play Therapist through the Association for Play Therapy?

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Brave

Brave

by | Feb 3, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, Coping with Burnout, Finding Peace, mental health business, Play Therapy, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty

Courageous behavior or character

Google Dictionary

2019 is a Brave year for me. I am saying goodbye to some old things and beginning lots of new things. Sometimes these changes are difficult in our field of counseling because sometimes our life changes affects the lives of the clients we see.

It’s scary, I know. Change. Uncertainty. What’s next? You may be asking yourself if you are ready to start the new job, work towards your Registered Play Therapy Credential, or leave a steady paycheck for private practice.

There are many feelings you can have when you’re making these sort of changes, fear, excitement, sadness, happiness, anxiety, and joy all rolled into one, or at different points along the journey. It’s never easy. But I find that it’s worth the challenge. It stretches me as a therapist and as a person. It sifts out the parts of me that need to leave and brings to the surface what I’m made of.

It grounds me, and my roots into my faith and values grow deeper and I grow closer to whom I believe God as asking me to be in this world.

So what do you do when you’re juggling all the changes so that you don’t feel like you’re going to lose your mind? Here are a few things that have helped me.

  • Ask for Help.
  • Be extra intentional about scheduling time for recreation and family bonding.
  • Partner with a friend/colleague that you can bounce things off of or call and unwind with.
  • Journal.
  • For me, staying consistent with my faith practices (prayer, reading spiritual books, etc..)
  • Remind yourself that you’re not alone and that your feelings are normal.
  • Seek your own therapy if needed.

Whatever you are Braving this year I hope you have Courage, to push through the fear, past the uncertainty, and into the new things this year will bring.

Let the New Year Move You Forward

Let the New Year Move You Forward

by | Jan 7, 2019 | Burnout prevention, changes, Counseling Supervision, Finding Peace, mental health, mental health business, New Years Goals, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Supervision, private practice, self care, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty

With the new year comes a lot of self reflection, goals setting, and often setting the tone and refresh on the year to come. I found myself looking over 2018 and all the things that have changed, both disappointments and accomplishments. I made it a point after the holiday craziness to just push pause on some of that and refresh myself, breath, and gain clarity for the year ahead.

 

There are a few things I learned reflecting on this year, and I hope they can help you too, on your journey whether it’s personal, healing from a traumatic experience, taking the next steps in your career or completing licensure or certification requirements.

  1. The disappointments and trials of the past year can be guideposts to the next steps to reach your goals.
  2. The accomplishments can the momentum that keeps it going,
  3. Growth doesn’t happen on its own, growth comes from taking each thing that comes along step by step.
  4. The most difficult decisions I sometimes make are not between a yes and a no, but from a yes and a better yes (Thanks to the Best Yes by Lysa Terkerurst).
  5. Sometimes I am looking for the perfect timing, perfect final product, perfect you name it to let go of what is holding you back, when you actually need to let go and make space for the next thing.
  6. Take time to breath, clear your head, journal, pray, or be around supportive people who love you will go a long way in helping you to clarify your goals and refresh you when you’ve been grinding for too long.
  7. Remember your roots. I have a deep faith in God, and have for a long time in my life, and I have leaned on it time and again to help keep me focused, grounded, and energized as I move forward.