by Jill | Aug 28, 2020 | Anxiety, Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, Coping with Burnout, Counseling Ethics, Counseling Supervision, crisis intervention, Faith, fears, Finding Peace, mental health, mental health business, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Ethics, Play Therapy Supervision, private practice, relaxation, self care, self esteem, self help, stress management, Therapist Self Care
Wow, What a year 2020 is turning out to be. So many ups and downs in the world, our country, our families and our emotions.
Between juggling the changes I’ve made due to COVID19 both in business, with clients and my own family it certainly is an emotional roller coaster. I feels like finding sanity and peace are so far away some days. I could make a list of “how to’s” to self care, or “how to parent during a pandemic” or “how to keep from going insane with all the cancellations and changes.” But it just doesn’t seem to say enough to me. I have found myself making changes I’ve never thought I’d face. From cleaning, to masking, from the telehealth maze there are so many shifts.
If you’re like me you started off hopeful that we could get through this, and there are many days I feel that way. It’s like I am choosing between being grateful and finding purpose in the problem and feeling anger, sadness and fear over seeing my clients, supervises and loved ones try to shift their own priorities and face layoffs, office closures and health issues.
What really has helped me to move through this without completely losing my mind (most days) are my faith, my friends, my family and taking each day and each issue one at the time, and yes seeking out my own therapy.
Most people know me know that I’m pretty open about the fact that as a therapist I find it crucial to go through my own therapy from time to time. It helps relieve burnout, compassion fatigue and also manage the difficult emotions that sometimes occur when faced with the reality of the trauma my clients face. And at the end of the day I feel like I’m asking others to engage in therapy so why not myself?
I will never forget when I was a newer therapist being encouraged to start attending myself. I am thankful for that nudge. There is no shame, no guilt and no it does not mean you are weak if you ask for help.
If you are struggling right now I encourage you to find support for yourself. Here are some signs that you may need to seek your own therapeutic support:
Common signs of chronic stress:
- irritable/angry, nervous/anxious, lack of interest/motivation, fatigue, overwhelmed, depressed/sad
- Feeling lack of control, guilt,
- Constant thoughts of a situation that won’t go away
- Withdrawing from others
- Tearfulness
- Not participating in enjoyable activities
- Finding it difficult to relax
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by Jill | Feb 22, 2018 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, changes, Finding Peace, mental health business, self care, self help, Uncertainty
Shedding the old life and old things can be an uncomfortable place to be in. There are times where it is necessary. For a long time I felt like I found myself in a holding pattern, stuck and unable to move forward, and waiting around for the next thing to satisfy me. It causes a lot of mixed emotions for me. Sometimes hurt, sometimes anger and frustration, sometimes confusion, and sometimes it feels like pure focus and determination.
It changes day to day for me. But the other day I began writing down what I’m grateful for, and I realized that when I look back, I’m really not stuck. I looked around and saw many of the goals I set and many of the desires that I feel God has put in my heart are actually coming together and making sense.
It doesn’t always feel like it, but we really are moving forward, one day at a time, one small step towards the goals we have. Then, before you know it you look around, and there it is. You’ve reached your goal. You’re there in the career you prayed for, the new relationship, the blog you decided to start, or the book you dreamed of writing.
I think sometimes we want to look at the big picture, and forget the smaller steps that led us there. That one phone call, that one prayer, that one chapter you wrote that turned into another, and then another until the book is completed.
The change is in the smaller steps and decisions that lead to the larger dream.
What small decisions have you made that have helped your journey? Please share in the comments below.
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by Jill | Jan 1, 2013 | changes, counseling, Faith, family therapy, google, grief, mental health, relaxation, self esteem, self help, stress management, thinking, Uncategorized, writing
I don’t know about you, but for me the end of a year and the beginning of a new one always has a feeling of relief for me. I love the idea of a new, fresh start and starting over. The past year for me has been full of ups and downs, and a lot of personal stress. But at the same time, there are many blessings in my life. If I look back this year, I can see where God has really come through for me and my family. I love the hope that a new year brings. I believe that this year will be better than last year, and that God will continue to teach me how to trust Him in my life.
Here are 10 things that I am going to do this year to make life more stress free take these ideas and also add your own in the comments:
1. Say no to at least one project a week.
2. Reduce the amount of caffeine and sugar I consume.
3. Plan at least one date night a month with my husband.
4. Plan more time with my girlfriends.
5. Schedule in at least one morning a week for writing and business planning.
6. Pay down debt.
7. Say what I am thankful for everyday because God supplies all me needs and provides for me every day.
8. Read more for pleasure.
9. Read a good Bible study or join a Bible study group.
10. Give up trying to plan every little detail of my life and allow God to work things out.
Verses that Spoke to Me this Week:
This is what God says,
the God who builds a road right through the ocean,
who carves a path through pounding waves,
The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—
they lie down and then can’t get up;
they’re snuffed out like so many candles:
“Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
rivers in the badlands.
Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’
—the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
the people I made especially for myself,
a people custom-made to praise me.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
The Message (MSG)
5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
a father’s delight is behind all this.
The Message (MSG)
Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson
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by Jill | Apr 24, 2009 | Activity Books, Child Therapy, children self help, children's activity books, children's books, self esteem, self help
About AnnaMarie
AnnaMarie Squailia homeschooled her children for eight years and made reading an important part of that process. She knew through reading her children’s eyes would be open to the classics, and would help her children develop strong communications skills. AnnaMarie served as a youth pastor, an associate pastor, and a Girl Scout Leader for several years. Through her experiences with both her own children and the children she mentored, she saw a need to create interactive books that gave children a safe haven to share their thoughts and challenges. The Hidden Swan is the first in a series of books that encourage communication and builds self-confidence.
Synopsis of “The Hidden Swan”
By using the story of the Ugly Duckling The Hidden Swan weaves self-help material into the questions and activities in the Character Building Section. There are both easy and hard questions and low cost activities, which makes them perfect for a wide age range.
The Hidden Swan helps builds the foundation of communication which every parent wants when their children reaches those turbulent teenage years.
Like every other skill, it takes practice. The Hidden Swan help adults start conversations with the children they love, helping them develop effective communication skills. After the Character Building Section, there is a section of possible answers to the questions. This acts like a springboard to help adults dive into a conversation with their children. Tough times require strong communication skills for all of us.
What age/population is appropriate for your book?
6-9 years old
What kinds of activities and topics are discussed in the book?
The topics discussed in the book are; Overcoming Loneliness, Being Brave, Being Responsible, Preventing Bullying, Recognizing Differences in Others, Self-Acceptance, and Surviving Hardships.
Below are three activities I have in the book.
Blindfold your mother or father and then lead them around your house. How are you responsible for them? How would you feel if someone was leading you around blindfolded and let you run into something?
Trace your child’s hand on a piece of paper two times. For the first tracing, have all of the fingers and the thumb spread out. This will look more like a turkey. For the second tracing have the fingers together and the thumb spread out. This will look more like a swan. Have your child color the spread out tracing as ugly as possible. Have your child color the second one beautifully. Talk about how both are the same hand, but one looks ugly and one looks beautiful. Discuss that what is inside is the most important, not how people see the outside.
Make a large flower out of construction paper. On each petal, write down one thing that makes you unique and special. Ask your friends and family members what they think makes you special and unique, and add those things to the flower petals. Put the flower on your bedroom door to remind you how special your really are.
What was your inspiration for writing this book?
While I was homeschooling, I always looked for books that I could teach life events with the story. Not finding them, I would make up questions to ask my children. People would comment on how wonderful they were and would ask me for my secret. It was building the lines of communication with them.
I had always wanted to write a book but was afraid. One day I thought I am just going to do it no matter how scary it is. It was easy after I decided to do it.
Do you have another job besides writing? What is it?
For the last 13 years, I have worked fulltime at a casino. Right now, I am in the games department. I know how to deal most of the games in the club. I have also had an on-call job as well for those 13 years. I worked my fulltime job at night when the kids were sleeping. Then would home school them during the days. I gave up being a Girl Scout Leader when I started writing The Hidden Swan. The kids chose to go to high school so now I am just working my two jobs, promoting The Hidden Swan, and working on another book. I am asked a lot how I do it because I have also been a single mom for those 13 years. I tell people you can do anything you choose to do.
What other books or projects are you working on?
I am so close to finishing my second book. I am expecting it to be ready in two months. I am looking for someone to do the cover. This one will be the Character Building Section for any Cinderella book. I wanted to have one that was low cost. If I am not paying for illustrations or a hard cover I can offer it for a lower price. It will be like a self-help (Cliff Notes) for Cinderella.
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