by Jill | May 25, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, Counseling Supervision, mental health business, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Supervision, private practice, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care
Grateful
March of this year I finally took the plunge into independent private practice. Plunge may be the wrong word, because while it may have felt like that when I made the difficult decision to leave my job of 7 years to pursue the next phase of my career it really didn’t happen all at once. It happened over time, with small decisions and guideposts along the journey.
I have had many supporters, including colleagues, friends, family, mentors and coaches. I wasn’t alone, and I’m thankful. Thankful for those that helped me along the way, Thankful for the flood of new opportunities God has opened up for me since I let go of the past and began looking forward. Thankful for the past experiences that have shaped me, both exciting and sometimes challenging.
It all comes together in the end and prepares me for the new phase. There were many things I wasn’t sure of, will it work, will I fail? what if I leave and I don’t get enough work? What if I make mistakes? How will it look? But now, I’m grateful. Now I’m free to focus more on the things I love, more supervision, more opportunities to see other therapists pursue their goals of being play therapists and counselors. More opportunities to see families heal from challenging situations.
If you are in the middle of a shift in your career, either pursuing licensure, private practice, certification, or other goals you may be wondering some of the same things, have some of the same fears. You are not alone. You will figure it out, and it will be worth it. Grateful.
Are you looking to pursue licensure as a professional counselor in Georgia? or to become a Registered Play Therapist through the Association for Play Therapy?
Ready to Work With Me?
If you are ready to start your journey contact me today for an appointment.
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by Jill | Feb 3, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, Coping with Burnout, Finding Peace, mental health business, Play Therapy, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty
Courageous behavior or character
Google Dictionary
2019 is a Brave year for me. I am saying goodbye to some old things and beginning lots of new things. Sometimes these changes are difficult in our field of counseling because sometimes our life changes affects the lives of the clients we see.
It’s scary, I know. Change. Uncertainty. What’s next? You may be asking yourself if you are ready to start the new job, work towards your Registered Play Therapy Credential, or leave a steady paycheck for private practice.
There are many feelings you can have when you’re making these sort of changes, fear, excitement, sadness, happiness, anxiety, and joy all rolled into one, or at different points along the journey. It’s never easy. But I find that it’s worth the challenge. It stretches me as a therapist and as a person. It sifts out the parts of me that need to leave and brings to the surface what I’m made of.
It grounds me, and my roots into my faith and values grow deeper and I grow closer to whom I believe God as asking me to be in this world.
So what do you do when you’re juggling all the changes so that you don’t feel like you’re going to lose your mind? Here are a few things that have helped me.
- Ask for Help.
- Be extra intentional about scheduling time for recreation and family bonding.
- Partner with a friend/colleague that you can bounce things off of or call and unwind with.
- Journal.
- For me, staying consistent with my faith practices (prayer, reading spiritual books, etc..)
- Remind yourself that you’re not alone and that your feelings are normal.
- Seek your own therapy if needed.
Whatever you are Braving this year I hope you have Courage, to push through the fear, past the uncertainty, and into the new things this year will bring.
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by Jill | Dec 30, 2017 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Boundaries, Burnout prevention, children, Coping with Burnout, Finding Peace, Holiday Stress, Jill Osborne, mental health business, parenting, Play Therapist Self Care, self care, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care
Overscheduled
I looked at my schedule and I asked, “what did I do to myself.” It was the week before Christmas and I looked at my calendar and realized I crammed as many client appointments as I could all week, supervision appointments, all after a full training day the week before and amidst all the holiday to dos that weren’t yet done.
Man did I feel overwhelmed. I forgot the white space. You know, the space between clients to get my documentation done, the time to wrap up loose ends from training day, pay taxes, all the fun stuff.
I worked so long last week (training week which always adds more to dos’) that my 4 year old daughter asked me, “mommy does your work close?”
Oops. I overscheduled myself again. I felt guilty about it most of the week because I miss my kids and this time of year you plan holiday activities (our holiday pancakes with Santa was kind of a bust because 4 year old cried the whole time because she had an ear infection).
I know what I was thinking when I scheduled it all. I was thinking that I needed the money and my clients needed me. Feelings like I wanted to please others and not disappoint anyone by making them wait until January for an appointment.
On the other end of it, I prayed for this. I prayed for full client load, a growing training and supervision business, and to expand myself. Growing pains.
I think this kind of thing ebbs and flows for me. I go from not busy enough and broke to overdoing it. But I kind of feel like our business, the counseling business is like that. Ebb and flow. Busy and not busy. The trick for me is, I think, is noticing when it gets too much and pulling back and making necessary adjustments, sticking to boundaries, assisting clients to move along that are ready for discharge, etc.… and stop being so hard on myself when it starts to take over and run into family life, but just to make the changes I need to make.
Sometimes that advice is easy to say, but takes a TON of courage to pull off. I have had to work very hard at setting boundaries in general and it doesn’t come easy to me. I am really blessed right now when I think about it. To have enough work that I need to pull back and set boundaries in my daily schedule, time to breathe, time to write, and time to create.
Gratitude for it helps. Gratitude and making small adjustments along the way to tweak the overworked schedule into something more balanced. I’m thankful.
How do you manage your schedule when it becomes insane? Leave a comment below with your tips. Thanks!
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by Jill | Aug 7, 2017 | changes, parenting, parents, self care, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care
“Mommy you don’t play with us.” Ouch. My kid said this one day when we were at home and talking about a game we are about to play. What an awakening. I work with families and children. I play with children all day long. And I always felt like my priorities were right. But this got my attention. I have been working a ton recently on some awesome opportunities, and some things have gotten off.
As a therapist and a mom it is always a challenge to balance both career and family. I’m a pretty driven person who deals with a streak of perfectionism, so if I’m not careful I can find myself out of balance. I see this issue come up time and again both with parents of the children I work with, supervisees and other working parents. How do you have a career that supports your family financially, but at the same time stay connected with your family? I have the fortunate opportunity to be able to adjust my schedule and have flexibility, and not every family has that. However there are some things that I do that helps me, and I hope that it can help other parents to readjust as necessary. Please note I have NOT perfected this in anyway and am constantly learning how to incorporate these in my own life.
- Let go of getting everything done all the time. Some things will be left undone. There is finite number of hours in a day and it is impossible to complete everything every day.
- Make the time you do spend with your children/family count. I make it a point to keep my weekends low key and not over scheduled. This is necessary both from a self-care point of view and bonding with my children. We have certain routines that we do keep on the weekends (such as at least one day we have movie and pizza night).
- Set a cut of time for work. In my field it can seem like there is something to do all the time, and setting a cut off time to stop working and go home has worked wonders. I will even put “GO HOME” on my schedule to give myself a visual reminder to NOT SCHEDULE SOMETHING THERE.
- Say no more than you say yes. It is tempting to take on multiple projects, Post this! Schedule this! Volunteer here! But giving yourself permission to say no sometimes will help focus your attention on the things that matter the most.
- Plan self care times every day to decompress. (for me it’s herbal tea before bed and watching something stupid on TV).
- Seek out consultation and networking with other parents in your field. You will find that it’s not just you, no you’re not crazy for being a working parent, and also remind you that we are in this together.
- Accept help from others.
- Ask for help.
- Give yourself the permission to adjust as needed. I have found that I have had to adjust my schedule or way of working every few years as my family’s needs change. My family’s needs change depending on the stage we’re in, for instance my kids had different needs when they were babies, but now that one is preschool age and the other is school age they need attention in different areas.
- Make smaller adjustments as you go along, rather than big leaps. Change happens as you make small adjustments to your schedule and your life, generally not in one big leap. And sometimes the simple adjustments (such as adjusting your cut off time for one day) makes a bigger impact than you expect.
What helps you maintain your sanity as a working parent? Whether you are a therapist or not? Leave your suggestions in the comments below. I can’t wait to read everyone’s tips.
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by Jill | Aug 26, 2016 | Anxiety, Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty
Making a Change:
Since last year I’ve been working on a lot of goals. I opened a business and started working with supervisees for the first time. I’m putting myself out there as a trainer/speaker for the first time. First, first, first.
Adding these responsibilities have really stretched me and challenged me in a lot of ways. I’m learning to experience the emotions that come with owning something with your name on it. I am by no means an expert at business, but I like the challenge and I’m learning as I go. I was looking to grow and change and challenge myself. I’m accomplishing just that, and in the process I’ve done a lot of new things I’ve never done before. It’s a very exciting time for me.
The Challenge of Uncertainty
On the other side of taking these steps to obtain my goals in the counseling field comes a lot of uncertainty. Financial uncertainty, will I have enough clients, will supervisees come to see me, and what if I work months on a training and no one shows up? Fear of failure and the unknown can easily creep in.
The thing is, change and uncertainty are very challenging for me, and probably for many others. I tend to like plans and to know what’s next. Those that know me know how scheduled I am and how I like to plan my life way in advance. Business challenges that for me on so many levels. I’m very loyal and dedicated and I will drag out a tough situation that’s not great just to avoid the change and stay in my comfort zone. On the positive, this makes me a very loyal and consistent person and I’m great at commitment, but if I don’t keep myself in check I will continue a sometimes difficult or not good for me but good for them situation, or get stuck in the mundane.
It’s Not Just Me!
I’ve noticed some of the same challenges with change and uncertainty with people that I work with. Either they hit a new milestone in their career, like getting their license and begin to explore their options, or they’ve decided to change the way they are doing something in their home or work life and dealing with the ambivalence that can sometimes follow the decision to make a change.
I read this morning on one of my favorite websites “Unstuck.com” that our brains see uncertainty as a challenge. That we try to make up something certain in our minds to deal with the uncertainty because we are wired to survive that way. This makes since in a survival situation, but it can sometimes be a stumbling block to a positive change. People tent to have trouble seeing past the ambiguity to the other side of the change. It takes a greater payout on the other end for people to walk through the uncertainty.
So Now What?
I was talking with someone I trust yesterday about some of the uncertainty I’m experiencing right now and she asked me how could I view uncertainty differently, rather than a threat? Or a fear? Well, here’s what I’ve come up with:
- Change is certain.
- Change is sometimes necessary.
- View it as an opportunity to be creative with your life.
- Write out the positives of the end goals.
- Practice self-care rituals to deal with the emotions of the change.
- Lean on your support, your tribe, or who ever you go to for accountability and
- Practice your faith and trust in you God, and also yourself to make the right steps.
- Focus on the next step right in front of you, (Thank you Oprah for this one!)
- Focus on the Process not the outcome (thanks Marie Forleo!)
- Look at the ambiguity and uncertainty not as a threat, but as an opportunity to be creative and make some tough decisions.
How do you deal with change and uncertainty? Leave a comment below and share with your friends.
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by Jill | Feb 24, 2016 | Faith, private practice, small business, Uncertainty
Sometimes you plan things. Big plans. Life changes, opening a business, starting a relationship, going out with your girlfriends, anything. You get excited about it, you think, “Thank the Lord! Look at how He’s blessing my life” when things start going well. Then you have one of those weeks, cancellations, bad news, a tough client week or whatever the case. I feel disappointment, if I’m honest with myself, and some confusion too.
So how do I turn this around? I want to give up, but that’s not the answer. I want to drag my appointments in the door by their hair. No, that won’t work either. I want to blame someone, myself, others, the universe.
Then I feel like, what is the world telling me? Am I really ready for this? Did the Lord really tell me to do this? Doubts. Big Hairy DOUBTS. I’ve poured hours, money, sweat, tears, time, you name it into this venture. I look into the face of uncertainty. I can’t stop now I’m too far in.
I get down on my knees and give my worries to the Lord, my God. That’s my first step. I allow the tears. I allow the mixed emotions. But when I give it over to the Lord, I know He has no doubts. He will bring the people that need what I have to offer. He will provide. He’s proved it to me time and time again. When I left an agency job broken and torn, He healed me, when I had nothing He provided my needs. He gave me support and all I need. He won’t let me down. People will. Money will. Position will. Things will all let me down. But He won’t.
I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them. Yes, I will indeed do these things; I will not forsake them.
Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the lord is finished correctly.
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
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Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged!’
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Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Public Reading of the Book of Instruction
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This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua’s Charge to the Israelites
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Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
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