by Jill | Feb 3, 2019 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, Coping with Burnout, Finding Peace, mental health business, Play Therapy, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty
Courageous behavior or character
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2019 is a Brave year for me. I am saying goodbye to some old things and beginning lots of new things. Sometimes these changes are difficult in our field of counseling because sometimes our life changes affects the lives of the clients we see.
It’s scary, I know. Change. Uncertainty. What’s next? You may be asking yourself if you are ready to start the new job, work towards your Registered Play Therapy Credential, or leave a steady paycheck for private practice.
There are many feelings you can have when you’re making these sort of changes, fear, excitement, sadness, happiness, anxiety, and joy all rolled into one, or at different points along the journey. It’s never easy. But I find that it’s worth the challenge. It stretches me as a therapist and as a person. It sifts out the parts of me that need to leave and brings to the surface what I’m made of.
It grounds me, and my roots into my faith and values grow deeper and I grow closer to whom I believe God as asking me to be in this world.
So what do you do when you’re juggling all the changes so that you don’t feel like you’re going to lose your mind? Here are a few things that have helped me.
- Ask for Help.
- Be extra intentional about scheduling time for recreation and family bonding.
- Partner with a friend/colleague that you can bounce things off of or call and unwind with.
- Journal.
- For me, staying consistent with my faith practices (prayer, reading spiritual books, etc..)
- Remind yourself that you’re not alone and that your feelings are normal.
- Seek your own therapy if needed.
Whatever you are Braving this year I hope you have Courage, to push through the fear, past the uncertainty, and into the new things this year will bring.
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by Jill | Jan 7, 2019 | Burnout prevention, changes, Counseling Supervision, Finding Peace, mental health, mental health business, New Years Goals, Play Therapist Self Care, Play Therapy, Play Therapy Supervision, private practice, self care, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty
With the new year comes a lot of self reflection, goals setting, and often setting the tone and refresh on the year to come. I found myself looking over 2018 and all the things that have changed, both disappointments and accomplishments. I made it a point after the holiday craziness to just push pause on some of that and refresh myself, breath, and gain clarity for the year ahead.
There are a few things I learned reflecting on this year, and I hope they can help you too, on your journey whether it’s personal, healing from a traumatic experience, taking the next steps in your career or completing licensure or certification requirements.
- The disappointments and trials of the past year can be guideposts to the next steps to reach your goals.
- The accomplishments can the momentum that keeps it going,
- Growth doesn’t happen on its own, growth comes from taking each thing that comes along step by step.
- The most difficult decisions I sometimes make are not between a yes and a no, but from a yes and a better yes (Thanks to the Best Yes by Lysa Terkerurst).
- Sometimes I am looking for the perfect timing, perfect final product, perfect you name it to let go of what is holding you back, when you actually need to let go and make space for the next thing.
- Take time to breath, clear your head, journal, pray, or be around supportive people who love you will go a long way in helping you to clarify your goals and refresh you when you’ve been grinding for too long.
- Remember your roots. I have a deep faith in God, and have for a long time in my life, and I have leaned on it time and again to help keep me focused, grounded, and energized as I move forward.
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by Jill | Feb 22, 2018 | Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, changes, Finding Peace, mental health business, self care, self help, Uncertainty
Shedding the old life and old things can be an uncomfortable place to be in. There are times where it is necessary. For a long time I felt like I found myself in a holding pattern, stuck and unable to move forward, and waiting around for the next thing to satisfy me. It causes a lot of mixed emotions for me. Sometimes hurt, sometimes anger and frustration, sometimes confusion, and sometimes it feels like pure focus and determination.
It changes day to day for me. But the other day I began writing down what I’m grateful for, and I realized that when I look back, I’m really not stuck. I looked around and saw many of the goals I set and many of the desires that I feel God has put in my heart are actually coming together and making sense.
It doesn’t always feel like it, but we really are moving forward, one day at a time, one small step towards the goals we have. Then, before you know it you look around, and there it is. You’ve reached your goal. You’re there in the career you prayed for, the new relationship, the blog you decided to start, or the book you dreamed of writing.
I think sometimes we want to look at the big picture, and forget the smaller steps that led us there. That one phone call, that one prayer, that one chapter you wrote that turned into another, and then another until the book is completed.
The change is in the smaller steps and decisions that lead to the larger dream.
What small decisions have you made that have helped your journey? Please share in the comments below.
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by Jill | Aug 26, 2016 | Anxiety, Becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor, Burnout prevention, changes, small business, stress management, Therapist Self Care, Uncertainty
Making a Change:
Since last year I’ve been working on a lot of goals. I opened a business and started working with supervisees for the first time. I’m putting myself out there as a trainer/speaker for the first time. First, first, first.
Adding these responsibilities have really stretched me and challenged me in a lot of ways. I’m learning to experience the emotions that come with owning something with your name on it. I am by no means an expert at business, but I like the challenge and I’m learning as I go. I was looking to grow and change and challenge myself. I’m accomplishing just that, and in the process I’ve done a lot of new things I’ve never done before. It’s a very exciting time for me.
The Challenge of Uncertainty
On the other side of taking these steps to obtain my goals in the counseling field comes a lot of uncertainty. Financial uncertainty, will I have enough clients, will supervisees come to see me, and what if I work months on a training and no one shows up? Fear of failure and the unknown can easily creep in.
The thing is, change and uncertainty are very challenging for me, and probably for many others. I tend to like plans and to know what’s next. Those that know me know how scheduled I am and how I like to plan my life way in advance. Business challenges that for me on so many levels. I’m very loyal and dedicated and I will drag out a tough situation that’s not great just to avoid the change and stay in my comfort zone. On the positive, this makes me a very loyal and consistent person and I’m great at commitment, but if I don’t keep myself in check I will continue a sometimes difficult or not good for me but good for them situation, or get stuck in the mundane.
It’s Not Just Me!
I’ve noticed some of the same challenges with change and uncertainty with people that I work with. Either they hit a new milestone in their career, like getting their license and begin to explore their options, or they’ve decided to change the way they are doing something in their home or work life and dealing with the ambivalence that can sometimes follow the decision to make a change.
I read this morning on one of my favorite websites “Unstuck.com” that our brains see uncertainty as a challenge. That we try to make up something certain in our minds to deal with the uncertainty because we are wired to survive that way. This makes since in a survival situation, but it can sometimes be a stumbling block to a positive change. People tent to have trouble seeing past the ambiguity to the other side of the change. It takes a greater payout on the other end for people to walk through the uncertainty.
So Now What?
I was talking with someone I trust yesterday about some of the uncertainty I’m experiencing right now and she asked me how could I view uncertainty differently, rather than a threat? Or a fear? Well, here’s what I’ve come up with:
- Change is certain.
- Change is sometimes necessary.
- View it as an opportunity to be creative with your life.
- Write out the positives of the end goals.
- Practice self-care rituals to deal with the emotions of the change.
- Lean on your support, your tribe, or who ever you go to for accountability and
- Practice your faith and trust in you God, and also yourself to make the right steps.
- Focus on the next step right in front of you, (Thank you Oprah for this one!)
- Focus on the Process not the outcome (thanks Marie Forleo!)
- Look at the ambiguity and uncertainty not as a threat, but as an opportunity to be creative and make some tough decisions.
How do you deal with change and uncertainty? Leave a comment below and share with your friends.
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by Jill | Feb 24, 2016 | Faith, private practice, small business, Uncertainty
Sometimes you plan things. Big plans. Life changes, opening a business, starting a relationship, going out with your girlfriends, anything. You get excited about it, you think, “Thank the Lord! Look at how He’s blessing my life” when things start going well. Then you have one of those weeks, cancellations, bad news, a tough client week or whatever the case. I feel disappointment, if I’m honest with myself, and some confusion too.
So how do I turn this around? I want to give up, but that’s not the answer. I want to drag my appointments in the door by their hair. No, that won’t work either. I want to blame someone, myself, others, the universe.
Then I feel like, what is the world telling me? Am I really ready for this? Did the Lord really tell me to do this? Doubts. Big Hairy DOUBTS. I’ve poured hours, money, sweat, tears, time, you name it into this venture. I look into the face of uncertainty. I can’t stop now I’m too far in.
I get down on my knees and give my worries to the Lord, my God. That’s my first step. I allow the tears. I allow the mixed emotions. But when I give it over to the Lord, I know He has no doubts. He will bring the people that need what I have to offer. He will provide. He’s proved it to me time and time again. When I left an agency job broken and torn, He healed me, when I had nothing He provided my needs. He gave me support and all I need. He won’t let me down. People will. Money will. Position will. Things will all let me down. But He won’t.
I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them. Yes, I will indeed do these things; I will not forsake them.
Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the lord is finished correctly.
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
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Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged!’
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Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Public Reading of the Book of Instruction
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This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua’s Charge to the Israelites
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Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
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