I have been exploring the book, “Spiritual Journaling: Recording Your Journey Toward God,” by Richard Peace. Today I was exploring parts of my recent past that led me to where I am now, which is at Eagles Landing Christian Counseling Center. About a year ago I attempted to open my own office by myself in order to delve into the world of private practice. After much prayer, seeking God, crying, and changes at my job at the time I decided instead to stop going that route, hince ending up at Eagles Landing. But I asked myself today, what if I never tried to open that office? Where would that have taken me? Was it God’s will or my own stubbornness to try to make things happen myself? And, is that door completely closed to me?
I imagined myself back at that place. I had just turned down an offer to join another group, and began to feel some courage that I could begin making the move towards private practice. I have felt this pull for a while, and while I enjoyed my co-workers the job I was init was no longer working with the rest of my life, and my growth as a therapist had begun to feel stifled. I needed something new, a risk, something fresh. I remember dragging my playroom toys upstairs and starting to make the move, and beginning to feel like I was disconnecting from the job then, and connecting to something new.
I think if I stayed in the job I was in I would have continued to feel stress from not spending enough time with my family, and more pressure to give precious hours away. I think I would have continued to feel that I wasn’t growing as a therapist anymore. I think I would have continued to feel like I couldn’t try anything new.
Or, I could have made a move to Eagles Landing earlier than I planned.What If I had done that? After watching a massive change at my job, and some painful things I experienced and saw people I care about experience, I think it would have saved me a lot of heart ache, and probably saved me from the trauma that I experienced from that time period.
During that time I learned courage. Courage that God gave me to make a change and take a risk in my life. Courage and faith that God is leading me closer to His will and closer to the desires for my career that He has placed in me. Courage that if I am unhappy that there is a reason for it, and that God is speaking to me about change.
Today I accept the decision I made to try things on my own, and I can look back and see how God lead me to the decision to leave that job I was in and move to Eagles Landing Christian Counseling Center. If you think about it, it wasn’t really a wrong choice, it was God leading me the whole time, and showing me that I can trust Him and have Courage to move on when it is time.
My prayer today is is that God will show you how to have Courage to make changes in your own life, and that He will show you how He is really there with you all along, no matter what direction your life is taking. Peace.
Jill! I don’t know if I’ve stumbled on a second blog or if you’ve updated your format on this blog but I really like it! And, I love this post! I can so relate to second guessing myself – especially when I first went into private practice – and second guessing God – thinking “Hey! Do you know what you’re going to DO with me?!
And, you are exactly right! One of the many lessons I learned from that period (in spite of myself) was COURAGE and the other one was TRUST GOD / TRUST the JOURNEY. I’m so grateful for those lessons . . . because years later when I encountered personal challenges, I was better prepared.
The other thing that I learned along the way is that there are almost ALWAYS MANY RIGHT WAYS . . . and MANY RIGHT PATHS. That’s true in our personal lives and it’s also true in our work lives. You’ve heard the saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”? I believe that! I believe that God can and does provide us lessons regardless of the choices we make. And, if that is true, then you were / are going to be OK with any choice you make. The consequences may vary but it will all be OK if you are open to learning from your choices and your experiences.
I’m so happy for you, Jill, that you’ve found a good “fit” for now. I know, when the time is right, you’ll move into private practice. And, wherever you are, I know you are touching lives . . . at home, in your clinical work, and here on your blog, too.
Blessings to you on your journey!